What Did You See in the Tea Leaves?
March Writing prompts from a spontaneous search on Instagram.
A behind the scenes peek into the joyful art of my writing process and how I won a battle with ANTs this week.
This week I am excited to share that I joined a writer’s group for the very first time! It happened quite accidentally, though it’s something that has been simmering in my crock pot for several years. In fact, it was so unexpected that I don’t actually recall how I stumbled onto the group in the first place; which is disappointing because such a joyful discovery deserves a revered beginning!
My new writing group!
It includes members from all across the globe.
This writing salon offers many different opportunities, but the one I immersed myself in first is the Writers’ Hour. Described on their website like this:
Let's Write Together.
The Writers' Hour is a virtual writing sprint held each weekday morning.
Free for all to attend.
Four sessions are held at 8am across four timezones. Join one or all sessions.
Grab a hot drink and get some writing done with us!
Since seasonal day work is currently keeping me busy from 8:00a.m to 9:00a.m., I was really encouraged to see that there were several choices across multiple time zones to find an “hour” that worked for my schedule.
I ended up joining the group meeting in the Australian time zone; which is 4:00p.m here in ME
Each group meets Monday through Friday and since I discovered the opportunity over the weekend, I had a bit of time to wait before I could just “jump in”; which is not really helpful for someone who manages anxiety. When Monday rolled around, I spent my work breaks trying to figure out how to get started and found that I only “thought” I signed up which might have been frustrating if it wasn’t entirely unexpected since I am quite versed in having to rush around at the last minute scrambling for key details when I begin something new. I’m not sure if this makes me a chronic procrastinator or just someone who doesn’t mind embracing the extra adrenaline rush that comes with getting myself organized moments before getting started.
As I reflect on it now, I’m pleased to note that it DID offer an opportunity to choose JOY , since it tipped off a comical domino chain of revisiting websites and doing random searches trying to remember the name of the writing group so I could repeat the sign up process. I remembered reading enough to know that I should have received an email with sign in information.
I think it’s important to pause here and say that the fact that I was able to chuckle and maintain such a lighthearted approach while searching for a way around this potential road block is an indicator of my mindset about this new experience. I think I was able to stay in the moment because I intentionally set the stakes low. The spontaneous discovery of the group coupled with the impulsive decision to join were both key ingredients in developing an exploratory curiosity about whether this group/opportunity would be a good fit for me or not as a writer.
By the time work ended, I recognized a familiar clenching in my stomach as some ANTS began to stir. This flurry of activity if often described as “butterflies in your stomach”. which never feels like a fit for me, because butterflies are so cheerful and the tightening I feel when anxiety is rising is not usually a lighthearted uplifting experience.
The visualization of an army of ants scurrying to assemble as they scramble to form ranks for an assault on my brain is much more appropriate.
This image works for me on two levels.
I find it more fitting to describe the rising panic I associate with anxiety in my body
It allows me to NAME what is happening internally; which is an important step in disrupting the rise of anxiety (which if left unchecked, has potential to escalate into a panic attack or the impulsive need to escape the stresssor.)
With a half hour to go before the start of the group, the ANTs had advanced and now embodied a gang of marauding mercenary pirates as they lobbed a verbal assault of put downs like cannon balls; intent on raiding my confidence and sinking any excited anticipation I may have been attempting to buoy.
“This is going to be terrible.”
“What were you thinking?”
“You don’t have anything to write about!”
“Who are you kidding…what makes you think you have anything to offer a group of writers like this?”
“You aren’t a real writer.”
Anxiety is particularly inconvenient when it is triggered by something you really want to try or do. I was really motivated to give this group a try, which helped me persevere in attempting to apply the strategies I learned in therapy to take charge of my negative thoughts and redirect them. This time I chose to reach out to a supportive group of friends and try talking about my feelings. It was particularly fortuitous that the regular weekly “virtual cuppa” had just begun; which is a really great feature of a magical group of women I belong to. Joining Middle Years Monday a year ago, shortly after stopping therapy, was an intentional step in creating a support network for myself as I sought to gain independence in maintaining my positive mental health. I think the universe was conspiring for my success because it turned out that the risk of taking just a few moments to share what I was about to do helped me rewrite the listing boat of my sinking confidence and I was able to regain the clarity I had when I signed up in the first place. Acknowledgement of my bravery and gentle words of encouragement and excitement over this new opportunity from a few of the participants was all it took to reconnect me with my own anticipation and excitement.
I want to slow things down here to celebrate this moment. The one where I was smiling, even though my heart was racing. The one where I heard myself say with a lighthearted chuckle, “I need to go because the group starts at 4:00 and I’m thinking I shouldn’t show up late! Heck, I might be back in like 10 minutes if it isn’t what I was hoping for and I am not having any fun!” The one where I clicked the zoom link and just jumped in with only curious thoughts and never looked back.
As is often the way with opportunities that “sync”, I felt immediately at home. In hindsight, I appreciated immensely the quick settling in to what was clearly a well established, no frills routine. A brief hello and welcome to the group of 45 faces peering out of the “Hollywood Squares” reminiscent Zoom display on my computer screen was all that appeared as one of the hostesses got started with an invitation to key our intentions for the day into the chat box. Next someone else began to read an inspirational message called “Words of Wisdom”
“Who cares if the first draft is good? It doesn’t need to be good, it just needs to be, so you can revise it. You don’t need an idea to start a story. You just need a sentence. Where does that sentence come from? Wherever. It doesn’t have to be anything special. It will become something special, over time, as you keep reacting to it. Reacting to that sentence, then changing it, hoping to divest it of some of its ordinariness or sloth, is . . . writing. That’s all writing is or needs to be.” – George Saunders, A Swim in the Pond in the Rain: (In Which Four Dead Russians Give Us a Masterclass in Writing and Life) .
Then, “click”; all mics were placed on mute and 50 minutes of silent writing commenced…cameras remaining on for gentle visibility and accountability. I initially typed that I’d be working on the companion book to the alphabet book I just published. (a counting book based on an Instagram challenge I sponsored in 2020)
My mind was a flurry of activity in the first few moments of silence, so I began by allowing myself some time to scroll through the screens of participants eager to see what other “writers” looked like and, to keep it real, see how I measured up. What I saw were lots of faces with eyes looking down and some of the cameras showing hands with writing utensils moving vigorously. Some people seemed to be staring; and I gathered like me, they were typing on their computer. I let out a visible sigh of relief along with a chuckle when I saw one man who was propped up on a couch with a cat butt taking up most of his square. Really, what I saw were people who looked just like me and at that I set about getting my own writing going.
As an adult writer, by default, I opt to write in verse. Words often assemble themselves in poetic form as they flow through my fingers. Sometimes they rhyme, usually there is alliteration and always, there is a quest to bring a vivid image or feeling to life for the reader.
Having dabbled in many months of poetry challenges over the last two years, I turned to Instagram and true to form, I promptly drew a blank on the names of any I had previously participated in and similar to the earlier moment when my memory failed me, I persevered, choosing to think of this as a serendipitous sign that something new was waiting for me and so I typed ‘March Poetry Prompts’ into the search bar where I came across the colorful pink and purple list of prompts (which is the anchor image at the beginning of this blog.)
It’s not unusual for me to begin writing with an certain theme or direction I intend to go in, and as can be typical of my writing process, what I end up with is usually pretty different! Most of the time it works for me. Sometimes I’m more reluctant than others to let go of my beginning ideas or plans and those pieces of writing can extend across multiple sittings until I give myself permission to switch gears, diverting the original idea to my running list of drafts or my notebook
I think it’s this living breathing alchemy that I love the most about writing to prompts.
If I get really still and listen to the whispers of the words and phrases on the list as they mingle with each other, the conversations can be magical. I almost always end up with something unexpected that has a powerful connection to something going on in my inner psyche.
I will leave you with the poem that came during the first hour of my inaugural meeting of the London Writers’ Salon’s; “Writers’ Hour”. I intend to make joining in a regular practice in the coming weeks.
If this blog post resonated with you or you’d like to share your writing process or success story in battling your own negative thinking, please visit me over on Instagram and send me a DM or reach out through the e-mail found in the contact section of this site.
